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  “I’d like to go home with you, though.”

  They both turned around at sound of the low feminine voice. The stud from behind the counter at the lemonade stand. The girl had changed her clothes—she was definitely a girl, probably still in college by the looks of her. Before her short locks had been pulled back from her face with a headband, but now she wore her hair loose around her face. And instead of a stained white apron, she wore a striped polo shirt, a bow tie, and skinny jeans. Very queer boi.

  “Damn, you clean up nice,” Zahra said. She approached the girl, looking predatory and femme sexy with her blouse-popping cleavage and dark, wet smile.

  Chloe could see the night was going to end with the hard piece of jailbait sitting in Zahra’s passenger seat instead of her. It was a good thing that she always traveled with enough money to get herself back home, no matter where she was.

  “Hey.” Chloe nodded at the girl, who gave her a lingering glance and a quick hello, before turning back to Zahra. “I’m going to take a look around the grounds for a while, Z,” she said.

  “Are you sure?” Zahra looked like her mind was already in the girl’s pants. “We could all just hang out together.” The tone of her voice said something else entirely.

  “No, I need to walk off all the food I just ate,” Chloe said. “Besides, there’s a watermelon-judging contest I want to see that started . . .” She glanced at her nonexistent wristwatch. “About ten minutes ago. If I hurry, I can catch the seedless entries.”

  “Oh, okay.” Her friend’s voice was distracted. “I’ll see you later. Text me if you need something.”

  And why would I do that? “Sure.” Chloe turned and left them.

  Although Chloe loved Zahra dearly, she knew her friend was a sucker for a handsome girl with muscles. They’d gone out together countless times, only to end up taking separate cars at the end of the night because Zahra had found a girl she wanted.

  Chloe wasn’t worried. She was in the town she’d grown up in and at a fair she had gone to over a dozen times. She had money in her pocket and pepper spray ready for any emergency. Still, although she enjoyed the fair, it wasn’t necessarily a place she ever wanted to be by herself. But if she had no choice, then she would make the most of it. She paid for a ticket to ride the Ferris wheel and climbed into one of the cars alone.

  The lush curtain of evening was falling, the sunlight already turning a darker gold in the sky. She squinted behind her sunglasses as the wheel swept up with a lurch and a squeak, carrying her slowly into the sky. Chloe leaned back in the car and looked out over the fairgrounds. At the people, the clowns, the brightly colored tents, and the roller coaster, which rippled like the outline of a mountain range on the other side of the park. She wasn’t a big fan of roller coasters and had gone on one only once, on a dare from Kai when she was a teenager. It had been terrifying, and she hadn’t done it since.

  Kai. Even with all the distractions of the day, the older woman hadn’t been far from her mind. While she’d watched her friend flirt with her stud, she’d thought about Kai. Wondered what she was doing. If she was dating anybody. What it would be like to share something as simple as an evening alone with her.

  Useless thoughts.

  She shook her head, holding on to the metal bar of the Ferris wheel car as it swung down, slowly descending back to earth. The attendant, a pimply boy with braces, unlocked her from the car and helped her step down.

  “Thanks.”

  She turned away, adjusting her purse under her arm.

  “You want to go back up again?”

  The sound of Kai’s voice took her by surprise. “Hey! What are you doing here?” It was like she’d conjured the other woman from her daydreams.

  Although, not even in her dreams had Kai looked that good. She wore scuffed cowboy boots, jeans that clung to her firm thighs, a faded Angela Davis T-shirt with a ripped collar, and a brown leather jacket. Her locks were pulled back from her face, showing off her bright eyes and firm lips. Chloe frowned at the hint of tension around the other woman’s mouth.

  “I’m here with a couple of friends.” Kai waved absently behind her. “But I was walking back from the turkey-leg stand when I noticed you up in the air all alone.” Kai glanced behind her, as if she expected someone to materialize behind Chloe. “Who are you with?”

  “I came with Zahra, but she met up with someone else.” But as the words fell off her tongue, she thought they sounded a little pathetic. “Not that I mind,” she rushed to reassure Kai. The last thing she wanted was for the other woman to feel sorry for her.

  “I’m sure you don’t,” Kai said with the barest smile. “You’ve always been pretty independent. Noelle and I always loved that about you.”

  I wish you could love me the way I love you. Chloe stared into Kai’s eyes as the crowd moved around them, unable to look away. Then she cleared her throat, forcing herself to get a grip. “So, are you going to go back to your friends now?”

  “No. I think they can fend for themselves. Despite your independence, I don’t like the idea of you being out here on your own.”

  Chloe frowned. “I’m twenty-three, Kai. Not thirteen.”

  “I know very well how old you are, Chloe.” She glanced up at the Ferris wheel. “So, how about that repeat ride?”

  Chloe shrugged. She didn’t have anything else to do. “Okay.”

  The ride on the Ferris wheel was different with Kai at her side. Chloe was more aware of everything—the sun’s heat on her face, a deeper chill in the fall air as the day retreated, Kai’s particular scent. She shivered with awareness in her corner of the car, her stomach dipping and swaying with her nervousness. The other woman smelled differently today, like cinnamon and cloves. The spicy fragrance twined in her locks and in her clothes, inviting Chloe’s nose closer. She deliberately stayed on her side of the car.

  “What kind of incense do you burn?” she asked suddenly.

  Kai glanced at her, an eyebrow raised in surprise. She knew that Chloe didn’t like incense, that the smoke irritated her nose. “A few kinds,” she said. “Depending on my mood.”

  “Oh. Whatever it is you burned today smells good.” She’d been to Kai’s place countless times in her life. The downtown Decatur condo, with its view of the square and the quiet area Chloe had always loved. Kai’s condo was as charming and lovely as Kai was and always smelled like some sort of incense or fragrant oil.

  “I didn’t burn any today.”

  Chloe tightened her hand on the bar across her lap, realizing that it was the other woman’s body oil that made her smell so delectable, a sweet scent she wanted to sniff the source of and burrow into. Had she rubbed the oil on her breasts? Were there traces of it between her thighs? Would the oil be sweet to the taste or bitter, like forbidden fruit?

  Jesus!

  She savagely bit her lip to curb her lustful thoughts.

  “It’s okay, you know,” Kai said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just relax with me. You don’t have to worry about whatever is on your mind so heavily these days. Look at this beautiful day. Let it ease into your spirit and take you away from all your troubles.” Her soft voice drifted around them.

  The Ferris wheel car creaked as they climbed higher into the air. A cool wind brushed against Chloe’s face, stroking her lips.

  “Are you taking the same advice?” Chloe had noticed a faint tightening around Kai’s mouth, which was unusual for her. A sign that she was worried about something.

  “I’m doing my best.” The older woman flashed a smile, although muted shadows lurked in the green and gold depths of her eyes. “But things will unfold as the universe determines.”

  Chloe couldn’t hold back her smile. Despite Kai’s corporate job, she was a bit of a hippie. She had an altar at home, where she burned candles and honored her ancestors. She loved festivals like the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival and Burning Man. And she had never seen an incense cone she could resist. But she also loved t
o make money, and she enjoyed skiing and everything else that her six-figure job afforded her. Chloe loved those contradictions.

  People saw Kai as this tough dyke in charge, with her long copper-colored locks, intense eyes, and a face that was almost too handsome to be real. But it made her feel special to know that under all that, Kai was a kind woman who’d rather lie in a hammock and listen to Tibetan chants than watch TV. That she had a laugh so big and wide, it invited others to join in. That she was the perfect partner to a woman who could appreciate her.

  “Yes, they will,” Chloe said, responding to Kai’s comment about the universe’s will. “For better or for worse.”

  “Baby, in the end it’s usually for the better.”

  Chloe shivered at the endearment. Was this the real reason she had come back to Atlanta? To hear Kai call her “baby” and to bask in the older woman’s company? To get more of the real thing before she went off again on a search for a suitable imitation?

  But I don’t want another imitation. I want the real thing. “Are you seeing anyone these days?”

  “Why do you ask that?”

  “It’s a question.” Chloe shrugged. “We’re two grown women having an adult conversation, right?”

  Kai’s gaze flickered down Chloe’s body. “Yes, we are.” She tightened and released her hands around the car’s safety bar. “No, I’m not seeing anybody right now. I’m actually in my second year of celibacy.”

  “Celibacy?” Chloe didn’t bother to hide her shock. A woman like Kai was walking sex. Inspiring a thousand wet dreams with her long-legged and loose-limbed stride, that sexy smile, and that finely muscled body, which made women want to drop to their knees in worship. “Why?”

  Kai laughed. “Don’t look so surprised. It hasn’t been a hardship,” she said. “Sex is not that much of a big deal to me.” Then she clamped her lips shut. “I can’t believe I’m talking about this with you.”

  “If it was not me, then whom?”

  The older woman chuckled again. “Are you quoting Trina, the Baddest Bitch?”

  Chloe was surprised again. “What do you know about that?”

  “I may be almost forty, but I’m not dead.”

  “Ha! That’s very true.” She snuck another look at Kai’s heart-stopping body. “Maybe you and I can hang out, after all.”

  The older woman flashed a wicked grin. “I’m not sure you’re ready for that.”

  Chapter 3

  The Ferris wheel swept them high in the air once again, and Chloe simply relaxed at Kai’s side, sharing laughter and bathing in the liquid sunshine of her smile. It felt peaceful and right to be with Kai at the top of the world, with no one else around.

  With a deep breath, she savored the sounds: the determined cheer of the carousel organ, laughter and conversation rising from the people below, the rattle of the roller coaster and its passengers shrieking in fear and delight.

  “Thanks for coming over to see me, Kai,” she said, looking over the fairgrounds, only half expecting to see Zahra and her date. “I’m glad you did.”

  “You’re welcome.” Kai’s voice wrapped around her like sun-warmed winter fleece.

  Earlier, being with Zahra had made her feel like a kid again, bubbling with irrepressible, irresponsible energy. It had felt good. But with Kai, she felt all of her twenty-three years, all the yearning and desire she’d stored up since she’d fallen in love. She wanted to be a grown-up and a mature woman for her. But why, when Kai was not for her? Chloe twisted the strap of her purse, trying to push those unwanted thoughts out of her head. She needed to leave for New York ASAP.

  When the ride ended, Kai helped her from the car with a warm hand around her waist. The other woman’s leather jacket brushed against Chloe, bringing with it the smell of Kai’s condo, making her think about Kai’s bedroom. Her bed. The two of them making love. A tremor darted through her.

  They left the field with the Ferris wheel, their footsteps muffled on the hard dirt ground, arms lightly brushing. The sun was both dark and bright at the horizon, burning away the last of the afternoon and leaving behind trailing ribbons of golden clouds.

  “It’s been years since I’ve been here,” Kai said. “Noelle told me you were coming here with your friend, but I had no idea it was on the same day Tanya and Tori wanted to go.” She mentioned friends she’d known since college. Partners in business and love. “The place hasn’t changed one bit.”

  Chloe shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “I know you haven’t changed.”

  “You’re probably right.” Kai seemed thoughtful. “I look at all these people around us—a lot of them I grew up with—and realize it’s true. They have husbands, wives, kids, gray hairs. And I’m still the same.” Her eyes flashed to the crowd on the path with them, some obviously coupled, others with friends. “Alone.”

  “I didn’t know you wanted . . . that.”

  Throughout her life, Chloe had seen Kai with many women. Gorgeous women whom she sometimes brought around Chloe and her mother, and whom everyone seemed to know about. Glamorous women who’d just never stayed around.

  “Everyone wants companionship, Chloe. That’s why I was so happy when your mother found Duncan. It’s not just about having someone to raise a child with. It’s also about having someone to keep warm on winter nights and to tell secrets to. Someone who understands most things about me.”

  She had never heard Kai talk like this before. “Are you just saying that because you’re hanging out with Tanya and Tori today?” She knew the two women were deeply in love and had an identical glow of absolute contentment when they were together. It was both sickening and enviable.

  “Partly,” Kai said. Some of the tightness she’d had earlier around her mouth returned.

  “Well, you know that hanging out with a couple will make anyone feel like a third wheel.” Chloe gently bumped the other woman’s shoulder. “Plus, it’s cuffing season. This cold weather makes everyone want to hook up.”

  Kai guided her around a trio of giggling girls who’d stopped in the middle of their path. “It’s about more than hooking up. I can have that anytime I want.”

  Wasn’t that the truth? Kai could get it right there at the fairgrounds, under the setting sun, with the carnival sounds wailing around them and Chloe on her knees, begging for a taste.

  Stop. It.

  “It’s good to know you don’t suffer from low self-esteem.”

  “True.” Kai laughed. “That was never one of my issues.”

  Yeah. She had always been confident. Something else Chloe had always liked about her. She smiled to herself. She loved Kai for that and so much more. The woman was an important part of her life, one that she didn’t want to lose. And she couldn’t afford to let her infatuation blind her to that.

  She put on a determined smile and hooked her arm around Kai’s. “Come, Helen of Troy. Let’s see if you can win me a prize.”

  They made the rounds of the fair as the day drew to a close and the sky darkened enough to allow the fair’s lights to glow brilliantly against the somber sky. Kai won Chloe a gigantic panda at the ringtoss; then Chloe bought her boiled peanuts as a thank-you. They were Kai’s favorite thing to eat at the fair, but she didn’t treat herself often.

  The night glimmered around them as they talked about everything from Chloe’s experiences in LA to Noelle’s celebrity clients to the next meeting that Kai had out of town. The latter was a trip to New York that promised to be incredibly informative in parts but also incredibly boring.

  “You should bring someone with you,” Chloe said. “Don’t the other execs bring their wives and husbands?”

  “They do, but you’re forgetting I have neither one.”

  Chloe hugged her panda tighter as she squeezed between two groups of posturing teenage boys. “You could always get an escort and have her be your companion on the trip.”

  Kai’s eyes widened. “What?”

  Chloe laughed. “Get your mind out of the gutter. You don’t
have to sleep with her.”

  “I don’t need an escort, Chloe.” Kai scowled at her.

  “It’s not what you think.” She smiled again at the other woman’s shocked face. “My first roommate in college was an escort. Sometimes guys would pay her to just fly with them to a meeting or a family event. She got a free flight, meals, and gifts. And all they wanted was a pretty girl who would listen to them and be there if they got bored.”

  “Jesus.” Kai shook her head. “Just don’t tell your mother about this ex-roommate. She’ll have a damn heart attack.”

  “Mom and Stacia got along.”

  “But I bet Noelle didn’t know how she was paying for her tuition.”

  “You’re right about that.” Chloe shrugged. “She invited me to come along with her on a few trips.”

  “What?” Kai stopped in the middle of the crowded path. People bumped into them, shooting annoyed looks at Kai, who refused to move or even acknowledge them. “Tell me you didn’t go with her. Those so-called sexless trips can change at the drop of a dime, Chloe. Those men are nothing to play with on their own territory.”

  Chloe toyed with not telling the truth. But she’d never lied to her mother or Kai about anything. Kept things from them, yes, but never lied. “I went with her.”

  “Are you serious?” Kai’s eyes snapped. She grabbed Chloe’s arm, giant panda and all, and dragged her out of the path of traffic, seeming to be aware for the first time that they were obstructing the path. They stumbled to a halt near a paddock, where a pair of horses lazily fanned their tails against flies. “You could have been—” She bit off whatever she was going to say. “Tell me what happened.”

  “Stop treating me like a child.” Chloe tried to shake off Kai’s hold on her, but the other woman was strong, her fingers biting into her skin, even through the layers she wore. “It was years ago. And nothing happened. I went with Stacia on a trip to Dubai to see some guy. Everything was cool. He fed us, told us to sleep in the same bed, came in the room to talk with us every night and watch us in the bed. Then he took us back home to LA. End of story.”