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  I closed the door behind me and headed straight to the bathroom. I ran the water to drown out the sound of my crying. I heard her knocking on the door. I wiped the few tears from my face and began to fan my eyes. Was it really all in my head? Did I make something out of nothing just because I was fully satisfied sexually and starstruck? She knocked on the door again. I suddenly realized that she was right. She didn’t owe me anything. I had allowed her to do what she wanted to me, and I didn’t regret it, because I knew I had wanted it to.

  A sense of anger mixed with a wild ego took over my mind. I opened the door to the bathroom. Ursula took two steps back as the door opened. I looked at her. She looked concerned. I didn’t want her pity. I wanted her body.

  There was a loud thud when I pushed her thin frame against the bedroom wall. Ursula looked at me. She didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to think of myself. A side of me had come out, a hunter of a different kind. I didn’t need to talk. I needed to show her why I was more than just a fuck buddy.

  I yanked the sash from her robe, then yanked the robe off of her. I picked her right leg up with my right arm. Ursula let out an excited whimper as I sucked her neck and pushed three of my fingers inside her with as much force as I could muster. She moaned as I fucked her with an intensity I hadn’t shown her before. She begged for more, and I no longer took my time or went easy. Her wetness covered my hand. She was enjoying every bit of it. I bit her nipple until she squealed. Then I sucked on it, giving her both pleasure and pain. My thumb entered her ass as I continued my assault on her. I wanted to leave my mark. I sucked right above her breast, leaving a swollen red area, which I knew wouldn’t disappear for a while.

  Ursula yelled my name over and over. No longer was I her sex slave. This time she belonged to me. I felt her walls tighten around my fingers. Suddenly her body convulsed, until she began to rain down on my hand. I took my hand out and pushed two of my soaking wet fingers into her mouth. She sucked her sticky sweetness off my fingers like she was Super Head.

  I wasn’t sure how we made it to the bed, but before I knew it, I had Ursula’s face buried in my pussy. I was in control. I pushed her head down as far as I could manage. I pulled her hair, getting it tangled in between my fingers. My body ground against her tongue while she licked me like I was her favorite ice cream. I wrapped my legs around her. I wasn’t going to let her go until I was ready. I felt her fingers inside of me, and my body quivered every time she hit my spot.

  I could feel my orgasm flooding through my body until my essence covered her mouth and hand. She didn’t stop. She wanted to take every drop of my essence. My chest rose and fell with my heavy breathing. It was as if all of me, all my energy and all my emotions, came out with my release.

  I unwrapped my legs from around Ursula. She crawled to the head of the bed, then put her arms around me as I turned over on my side. I couldn’t look at her. I wasn’t ready to look at her. She kissed me on the nape of my neck.

  “See? Fun,” she whispered in the sexy voice I was used to hearing.

  I had a lot of words for what we did, but fun was not one of them.

  I woke up earlier than usual. It was Monday, and my weekend was over. I called my job and let them know that I was sick. I wasn’t lying. I really was sick. I was sick from knowing that this was my last day with Ursula.

  I tiptoed out of the guest bedroom, where Ursula was still sleeping. The cold floor awakened my few senses that were still sleeping. I didn’t bother to get dressed. I walked through her lavish villa in the nude. I opened the door to the backyard. The grass was moist from the morning dew. I stood at the edge of the swimming pool. The lights hadn’t turned off yet with the arrival of morning. I crossed my arms and jumped feetfirst into the water. It was much colder than I had expected. I realized the heater hadn’t been turned on.

  I opened my eyes while still under water. All I could see was blue. I could hear the water from the waterfall hitting the pool. I stayed under until my lungs couldn’t take any more. I swam back to the top and put my hands on the side of the pool. I didn’t know if it was the lack of oxygen, but I suddenly had a clear head.

  I walked back into the guest bedroom and took a long hot shower. I put lotion on my body, slowly caressing my oversexed body parts. I brushed my thick hair back into a ponytail. I packed up all my toiletries and took one final glance around the bathroom to make sure I had everything.

  I walked back into the bedroom to see Ursula sitting up in bed. Her breasts looked amazing even in the dim light. I put my toiletry bag in my suitcase. I pulled out my last dress, a black and blue maxi dress, to put on for my flight home.

  “It’s early.” Ursula’s sultry voice rang through the room.

  I closed the suitcase and turned around to face her. “Yeah, I called the airline, and they have a flight in three hours that I can take. I called a cab. It should be here soon.” I pulled the dress over my head. It fit my body well, clinging in all the right places.

  Ursula got out of bed. She put her robe on and walked over to me. “Are you sure you are ready to go?” Her voice alone made it hard for me to answer the question. She wouldn’t take her eyes off of me.

  “Yeah, I need to get home. I’m already missing one day of work.”

  “I think I can give you a few reasons to miss another day or two.” Ursula tried to reach for my face, but I quickly turned away.

  “No. I need to get home.”

  Ursula stood in that spot. For the first time she was speechless. “Temple, are you sure about this?”

  “I’m sure.” I heard my phone ring. I knew it had to be the taxi waiting on me.

  Ursula walked out of the bedroom. I grabbed my suitcase and headed to the living room. Ursula buzzed the taxi driver into her gate. I tried not to look at her, but I could feel her eyes burning the side of my face. Unable to take it anymore, I turned and saw that I was right. Her eyes were fixed on me.

  “Thank you for an amazing time. I truly did enjoy myself,” I said. Now I was the one who sounded professional.

  “Did you? Because leaving like this makes me wonder if you did.”

  I didn’t know how to take her attitude. For a person who wanted only to have fun, she sure wasn’t acting like she didn’t care about me. I put my bag down and walked over to her. I pressed my lips against hers. I had to kiss her one last time. I needed one more kiss, in case it was my last.

  I didn’t want this kiss to be erotic. I wanted it to be the most sensual and romantic kiss she’d ever experienced. I tried to show all my feelings in that one moment. I wanted Ursula to know what she could have with me, something real and a person who would love her forever. After all, I had already loved her most of my life. I finally let go of her. I could tell from her expression that she was surprised by the kiss.

  “Stay. . . .”

  “I can’t.”

  “Stay, Temple.” Ursula lowered her head. Now she couldn’t look at me.

  A piece of me wanted to stay. A large piece of me still wanted to do whatever she wanted me to do. I walked out of the villa, leaving Ursula standing in the doorway. I looked only at the trees as the driver made his way back down the long driveway. I watched the iron gate open. I forced myself not to look back. I felt like looking back would turn me into a pillar of salt. I put my shades on as a single tear fell down my cheek.

  Chapter 17

  The apartment I had once loved looked more and more like a shabby piece of shit each time I came home from a trip. I rolled my eyes as I walked into the small living area. I was missing Ursula terribly already. Nothing seemed right. I didn’t know why my apartment felt so different to me. I pulled my rolling suitcase into my bedroom.

  My eyes immediately noticed that a drawer to my dresser had been pulled out farther than it should have been. I realized it was Ciara’s usual drawer. I walked over and looked in it. The drawer was empty. I walked over to my closet and saw a large gap in the middle. Ciara had taken all her things. There wasn’t a single trace
of her left. I walked into my bathroom. Even her toothbrush was gone.

  I walked back out of my bathroom and sat on the edge of my bed. Everything was sinking in. I had walked away from my dream woman, and I had finally pushed Ciara completely away. I felt empty inside. I wanted to be held, but I had no one to hold me. I was completely alone for the first time in over a year.

  I thought about drinking the emptiness away, but I knew it wouldn’t work. I decided to immerse myself in work. I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. I washed clothes that didn’t need to be washed, and cleaned out my refrigerator. With nothing left to clean, I decided to cook. I made a full meal, including steak, baby potatoes, and vegetables. I baked a fresh batch of Toll House cookies to go with the pint of vanilla ice cream I had in my freezer. I blended a batch of strawberry daiquiris and poured some into a large plastic martini glass I had gotten at a Cinco de Mayo party.

  I sat the food on my coffee table. I sat down and turned my television on. I scrolled through the plethora of channels, unable to find anything I wanted to watch. I felt a sharp pain in my side. I didn’t know why I did it, but I pressed the DVR button on my remote, displaying the final episode of the last season of Olympus, which I’d missed while sexing the star of the show. I pressed PLAY and sat through the episode.

  I couldn’t eat. After the daiquiri in the glass disappeared, I decided to drink straight from the blender container. Ursula looked amazing. Even in her vengeful states on the show, she looked amazing to me. I watched as she kissed Les, who played Zeus. A ton of memories of my kissing her flashed in my head. It was complete torture, but I didn’t care. I wanted to feel the pain. I needed to feel it so I didn’t call her or answer her call if she ever called me. I had to get her out of my system, or I knew I was doomed.

  Cree couldn’t take it anymore. It had been two days, and she hadn’t heard anything from Les. She didn’t know why he was avoiding her calls. She couldn’t get their last meeting out of her head. She knew she had ruined it with her silly emotions. She had a feeling she’d pushed him away.

  She had to get her mind off of her situation. She headed to her job at the bank. It felt like it had been ages since she had been in the office, although it had been only a few days. Before long, the bank was so busy, she didn’t have time to think about her failed relationship.

  “Excuse me, but are you Cree Lancaster?”

  Cree looked up from her computer to see a petite white woman standing in her doorway. The woman smiled. She didn’t look like the usual women who walked into her bank branch. She reeked of money.

  “Yes, I am. How can I help you?”

  The woman walked into the room and closed the door. She sat down, placing her Birkin bag on the empty seat next to her. Cree noticed the diamonds in her ears. Cree sat straight in her chair as the woman continued to look at her. The woman extended her hand to Cree.

  “I’m sorry. Where are my manners? My name is Sybil. I’m Les’s fiancée.”

  “Excuse me?” Cree’s back straightened up completely. She noticed the diamond ring on the woman’s finger. Cree could feel her body starting to tremble, but she forced herself to remain calm.

  “Yes, you heard me right. I’m his fiancée and the mother of his children, or as your kind might call it, his babies mother, or whatever you wish to call me.”

  Cree held on to the arms of her office chair. Sybil smiled, not losing one inch of her cool. She pulled her hand back when it was clear that Cree wouldn’t shake it.

  “Look, I’m sorry, but I didn’t—”

  “Oh, don’t worry, Cree. I’m not here on something malicious. I’ve been with Les for so many years, I know him like the back of my hand,” Sybil said, cutting Cree off. “I know he cheats, and honestly, I usually don’t care. Hell, men will be men, and men love new cunt.”

  “Wait a minute now.” Cree felt her blood starting to boil. A woman she hadn’t even known existed was confronting her, and now that woman was calling her names.

  Sybil put her hand over her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t referring to you. See, this is the reason for my visit.”

  Sybil stood up and began to pace the floor in front of Cree’s desk. “You see, Cree, I’m used to the random girls. They come and go. Usually, he meets the little groupies, fucks them, and never speaks to them again. But now, all of a sudden, he has other things going on. He is gone every weekend. He has a new pep in his step, something that has been gone from our relationship for a very long time. This made me suspicious.”

  Cree watched as Sybil finally stopped pacing in her red bottom stilettos.

  “So I had to do a little investigating, and I found out that Les has been spending all his weekends with a little black Pop-Tart from Chicago, of all places.”

  “Look now . . .” Cree put her hands on her desk. “I understand you might be upset. Trust me, I’m not the happiest camper right now, either. But you aren’t going to come in my place of business and call me names.”

  Sybil stared at Cree. She knew that Cree was not playing. She put her hand over her mouth again. “I apologize. Let me sit.” Sybil sat back down in the chair in front of Cree. “So, anyway, this thing you have going on with him has to stop. We have children to think about, and no woman is going to come between what I have built.”

  Cree sat back in her chair as she watched Sybil pull out a checkbook. Sybil began to scribble on the check.

  “So how much is it going to take for you to disappear?”

  “Are you trying to buy me?” Cree was insulted.

  “Oh, come on. We both know why you are messing with him. It’s what all you women do. If you think I’m about to let some girl come in and ruin the future I’ve been building with him, you have another thing coming.”

  Cree shook her head. She couldn’t help but laugh. Sybil looked up from her check.

  “What exactly is so funny?” Sybil questioned.

  “You are, actually.” Cree folded her arms. “Here I am about to feel really horrible about what I have been doing, and then you come in here at me the way that you have. For the record, I didn’t know you even existed. You’re his fiancée, but you surely aren’t featured in any articles and you don’t make an appearance at any premieres or anything else.”

  “We like to keep our relationship private.”

  “It sounds to me like he likes to keep you hidden, and obviously, for a reason.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Sybil’s voice cracked. “How dare you . . . ?”

  “No! How dare you come into my place of business, calling me names, because your man prefers to be with me over you! Maybe if you were handling your business at home, he wouldn’t be flying me all over to be with him.”

  “Do you think I give a damn about where he flies you? I am only looking out for my relationship.” Sybil hit Cree’s desk.

  “No, it sounds to me like you are only trying to look out for your finances. You don’t seem to care at all that your so-called man is sleeping with me.”

  “I’m not going to sit here and take this.” Sybil jumped up out of the chair. “Trust and believe me when I say that Les is never going to be with you. He’s not going to lose his daughters or me over some fling. You, my dear, can have his little penis. I have everything else, and I’ll be damned if you or anyone else comes in between that. So I hope you enjoyed him while you could, because he won’t be back.”

  Sybil put her shades on. She picked up her expensive bag and walked out of Cree’s office. Cree’s whole body was shaking. She picked up her phone and sent a text to Les.

  Just met your dead fiancée. Go to hell.

  Cree took a half day and headed home. She cried the whole way to her apartment. She couldn’t stop crying. She couldn’t bear to hear from Les. She missed twelve phone calls from him before she turned the phone off. She wanted to call Temple and Nia, but she knew they had no idea she had been dealing with Les this whole time. She didn’t have anyone to turn to.

  A loud knock woke Cree out of her sle
ep. She realized she had fallen asleep on her couch. She walked over to the front door and peered out the peephole. There stood Les, with pain etched in his face.

  “I can hear you, Cree. Open the door.” Les’s raspy voice was deeper than normal. “Please.”

  Cree stared at the doorknob for a minute before finally unlocking the door. She walked back into her living room as she heard the door open.

  “Cree.” Les dodged the wineglass that came flying toward his head.

  “Dead? You told me she was fucking dead!” Cree yelled.

  “I’m sorry.” Les lowered his head.

  “How could you do this? To me?” Cree picked up a book from the coffee table and chucked it, hitting him in the arm.

  Les rushed toward her, grabbing her arms. “I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to lose you.”

  “So you tell me that she’s dead. What type of sick shit is that?”

  “Cree, please. She is dead to me. She’s been dead to me for a long time.”

  “Oh, really? The ring on her hand says something completely different!” Cree hit Les on the arm, hurting herself in the process of trying to hurt him.

  “The truth is that I am not with her anymore. I left her a long time ago, but she has been making my life a living hell. She extorts money from me and threatens to keep my children from me. The only time she ever cares about anything is if she thinks it’s going to come in between her and my paychecks.”

  Cree looked at Les. She could see the hurt on his face. He looked sincere, but he was an actor. He was supposed to be able to deliver a line.

  “I can’t. I can’t do this.” Cree pulled away from Les, throwing her hands in the air as she walked away.

  “Cree, don’t you know how much I care about you? Don’t you know that she would have never come to you if she didn’t know that you were someone special to me?”

  “I know that. I could tell she was a piece of work the moment she started talking.” Cree paced the floor.